The Golden Goose... Er, Rangoon?

Location: 

Golden China Express

453 E Wilson Bridge Road Worthington, OH 43085

(614) 848-4600

Just wanted to throw a quick review in about this tiny Chinese take-out place that we go to every once in awhile. Honestly, we should go there more, but they're kind of on the pricey side. (Well, compared to my favorite Chinese pig-out, The Buffet!) I always get the crab rangoon and combination #17, General Tso's with fried rice and an egg roll. It's perfect every time! The crab rangoon are the best best best of any Chinese take out I've ever had. They are huge, about the size of a playing card, hot, crispy, and totally stuffed with crab-cream cheese filling. Oh my god, I literally just started drooling just typing about them! Anyway  the General Tso's is the stickier kind, but they keep their chicken pieces to about the size of half a matchbox car, so they don't get chewy. They don't include any peppers (sad face) but they do include 4-5 pieces of steamed broccoli.  What I really like is their fried rice.  It doesn't have a ton of vegetables in it, or those weird pieces of teriaki pork or whatever that red, hard, tasteless pork is that you often find in fried rice. Blargh. I hate those things. It's just rice, fried, no additions. I don't mind the occasional pea or carrot, but when you get more vegetables than rice, it's like why not order vegetable fried rice instead? I just want some tasty fried rice to put my tasty General Tso's chicken into.

Check out the Golden China Express  on East Wilson Bridge Road, at the intersection of Huntley and Worthington Galena. You will not be disappointed. Poke always gets the house fried rice, and it actually fills him up! He eats a lot. Here's a photo of the combination #17, without the egg roll or crab rangoon - I kinda scarfed those down before I thought to take a picture!

Yum!

Overall Scores: (1-5, 1 being lowest, 5 highest)           

Cleanliness: 4

Value: 4

Accessibility: 3 (you either have to know the back way in, or wait to turn left for 117 hours)

Friendliness: 5

Menu: 5

A Flourishing Garden

Location: 

China Garden Buffet

1788 Morse Rd  Columbus, OH 43224

(614) 848-3628

My dining buddy, JI.

You guys should just go ahead and consider me to be a Chinese buffet expert. I love them, and I will try any Chinese buffet at least once. I've rarely had bad experiences, and I've never been to a Chinese buffet that didn't have at least five dishes I like. The defining item at a Chinese buffet is, for me, the crab rangoon.

I've been to China Garden probably more than fifty times in my life. I started going there back in 2002 when I was with my first husband, and I go there at least four times a year. So that would be at least 44 times in the past 11 years! The decor is nice, they always have the best music (Chinese buffets score really high points with me if they have Asian versions of American pop songs on their Muzak), and the staff is great. They have a good selection of food, and according to Poke, they have the best Peanut Chicken (yuck! I'll never try it!). The best thing about China Garden, which is bane on many buffets of any culture, is food temperature. As a chef, I know the rules, and I know that it's hard to keep buffets above 140* let alone 165*, and I take my chances every time I eat at a buffet. But I have an iron stomach and thus far in my life, it has not been buffet food that gave me salmonella and e. coli!

Crab rangoon, white rice, General Tso's chicken

But I digress. China Garden is #1 in my book because they have the best crab rangoon. They are little pastry purses, stuffed full of creamy goodness and never chewy or hard to bite into. China Garden is the only buffet that I've ever been to that provides the spicy mustard in packets, which is my favorite, so I don't have to get a bowl with plain hot mustard from the salad bar. That's awesome.  China Garden also has some of the best General Tso's chicken. Now, in case you didn't know, there are two kinds of General Tso's out there. There is the sticky, syrupy, brighter red kind, and the darker red, thinner sauced, sesame seeds on top (why, I don't know) kind. China Garden has the latter, and it's super freakin' tasty. Sometimes the chicken in the sticky sauce gets pretty chewy, and you can literally sit there and gnaw on a larger piece of chicken until it's mere shreds between your teeth. Not fun. But at China Garden, they make their chicken pieces on the smaller side (about the size of a large peanut) and because it's in the thinner sauce, it doesn't absorb all that moisture and get chewy. Tiny little bite sized crispy pieces of perfectly sauced chicken. Yum.

Kid's: $Free under age 2$

I love all this food!

Hmmm What should I eat next?

China Garden has the best of a lot of menu items, actually: egg rolls, vegetable fritters, teriaki chicken, bacon-wrapped krab, Singapore noodles, and spring rolls, to name a few.

From L to R: egg roll, crab rangoon, broccoli chicken, vegetable fritter

Overall, if you're in the Westerville area and you're tasting for Chinese food, stop by the China Garden buffet. The price is right ($7 lunch, $11 dinner) and the food is amazing. 

And the BEST sugar buns this side of Hong Kong

Overall Scores: (1-5, 1 being lowest, 5 highest)           

Cleanliness: 3 (the bathrooms could use some work)

Value: 5

Accessibility: 5

Friendliness: 5

Menu: 5

My Big Fat Greek Meh

Menu

Location: 

George's Beechwold Diner

4408 Indianola Avenue Columbus, Ohio 43214

(614) 447-0944

About a year ago, Poke and I tried to go to the Beechwold Diner on a Sunday in between church services, hoping they wouldn't be very busy and we would miss the rushes. We walked in with our infant son, and stood there for about three minutes just waiting to be greeted. There were plenty of waitresses running around, and the front door can be seen from every single spot in the restaurant. The place was packed, with no available tables, and since we weren't acknowledged at all, we ended up walking out.

Hey lady, where's the eats? A guy can't live on crackers!

A few weeks ago, a friend and I wanted to get together for lunch and try someplace new. I figured I would give the diner another chance, since a few of my friends are constantly raving about it on Facebook. We met around 11am, and it wasn't packed, but there were only two free tables. I had my son with me, so luckily I was able to get a spot where we could put the high chair.

I LOVE FOOD!

I ordered a Reuben, which came with chips. I asked if I could substitute fries for chips, and she said no, I could only order a side of fries and then I wouldn't get my chips. That pissed me off. If I'm paying for chips and fries, I want to get chips and fries. I told her to please give me the chips as well. I didn't get any chips. I got my son an ala carte pancake and one scrambled egg, which he wolfed down before I could even try a bite, so I'm going to assume they were good... but he's a toddler now, so basically all food is good to him. The Reuben was pretty good, lots of meat and sauerkraut and just the right amount of dressing. I prefer my rye bread to be more toasted, but at least it was only raw on the edges. The fries were fine, but there was nothing special about them. Just fries. I like Wendy's or Penn Station's fries better. I really missed the chips.

Reuben

My friend got a grilled ham and cheese with chips and coleslaw. She said the coleslaw was good, crisp and creamy and not too soupy. It looked like Steak'n'Shake's coleslaw to me, which is one of very few coleslaws that I like. She said her ham and cheese was tasty. We decided to get some dessert, and I got the apple pie and she got bread pudding. After she took the first bite, I could tell the bread pudding wasn't good, and she confirmed it. Blech. My pie, however, was delicious - although I highly doubt it was homemade, unless they have a 5-star patisserie in the back.

'Slaw

Grilled ham & cheese and chips

Now let's discuss the drink situation. I ordered a Diet, as always, and a water for the kid. I had to flag her down several times to get a refill, and eventually she just started ignoring me. For the last half of my meal, I ended up drinking my son's water because I couldn't get the waitress to give me any more pop! My friend ordered hot tea, and was charged three times, once for each cup of tea that she had. Seriously? $1.59 for hot water? Wow.

Our tab was pretty steep, considering the lackluster experience. I really don't think a meal at a diner for a kid and two women should cost more than $20, but it does at George's Beechwold Diner. Totally unacceptable.

Yes, that says $33.14!

Overall Scores: (1-5, 1 being lowest, 5 highest)           

Cleanliness: 3 (it's a really old place that is in need of major upgrades)

Value: 1

Accessibility: 1 (only 4 parking spots, easy to miss from the road)

Friendliness: 1

Menu: 3

By the end of our meal, the place had cleared out.

 You can visit their website here.

Joke!

Location: 

Piada

1315 W Lane Avenue

Columbus, OH 43220

(614) 754-1702‎

In Portugese, the word "Piada" translates into "Joke" and I think that's what is happening here.  Someone is trying to play a big joke on people who like both Chipotle and Italian food. It's a chain restaurant set up in the same way as a Chipotle - wait in line for 37 minutes, go through the ordering process, try to find a seat in the overcrowded dining room, fail, and leave. Don't get me wrong, I love Chipotle, but I rarely go in and order - I almost always do it online so I can walk straight to the front! Sorry losers!

But I digress.

Piada is "Italian Street Food" as interpreted by some fat American guy, I have to assume. Why? Well it's literally pasta wrapped in a burrito. Seriously. They call it a piada, but it's a freakin' burrito. So you go up and ask for a piada, or a pasta bowl, or a chopped salad bowl. They have all kinds of toppings, but none of them are good - roasted slimy peppers, soggy nasty spinach, chewy calamari... *ugh* Then you can choose your sauce, a flavorless goo to slather upon your sub-par ingredients. The list goes on of disgusting things to slop into your spaghetti burrito. So gross. They have sides too, like breadsticks and fried calamari, or soup and salad, and I think some of the locations sell wine and/or beer as well.

I've been to Piada twice in my life, and it was twice too many. Chipotle has the winning combination on this concept, and other people need to stop trying to copy it and just do their own damn thing.

Overall Scores: (1-5, 1 being lowest, 5 highest)           

Cleanliness: 5

Value: 2

Accessibility: 1

Friendliness: 3

Menu: 1

Am I at Chipotle? No, sadly, I am not.

A sideways bag of pasta bowl

Fox is suspicious of this Vegetarian Pasta bowl To Go.

This bowl cost me $8.95

Angel hair, pesto, black olives, roasted red peppers, tomatoes, mozzarella, green peppers

They tell you in what order to choose your food, in case you're fucking retarded.

Extensively gross menu.

Mi piace il cibo italiano!

Location: 

Petti's Pizza & Restaurant  

29303 Euclid Avenue

Wickliffe, OH 44092

(440) 944-1028 ‎

When I was young, my father worked just down the street from Petti's, and we would often make the drive there to meet him for lunch. Any time we were out, especially for doctor/dentist appointments, my mom would take me over there to see my dad and get some awesome Italian food for lunch. I always made sure to behave extra good so that I'd be guaranteed this trip!

It's been two years since I've been there, but the last time I went was with my mom after we visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It's pretty close by (about 10 minute drive) so I knew we had to go. It looked different inside than I remembered, much smaller and brighter, but I suppose when your head is at table level, everything seems gigantic!

Once again, it's been so long since I took these photos/ate here that I don't specifically recall the entire meal. I remember scarfing down everything on my plate, including a salad and several rolls, and I was still hungry - never fear, however, there was a lot of food - I just happened to be pregnant at the time and didn't know it! Hahaha!

I do remember that we were there on a Friday and it was packed. They had a few good specials going on, and our waitress was hilarious and awesome. Petti's has been run by the same family for generations, and probably 80% of the staff is family/related.

All in all, I'd say that if you're in the Cleveland/Wickliffe area, check it out! If you are from Columbus and have ever been to Villa Nova, it's a similar atmosphere, room size, menu, etc.

Overall Scores: (1-5, 1 being lowest, 5 highest)           

Cleanliness: 5

Value: 5

Accessibility: 3

Friendliness: 5

Menu: 5

Is this what Italy looks like?

 

Like being at your Italian Gramma's house

Big plate of ravioli!

Good photo of one meatball and one piece of Italian sausage.

My mom got the Lake Perch and some roasted redskin potatoes.

She puts ketchup on lots of things...